Love to live? or Live to love?

Three words, rephrase and they indeed are two major differences! I've met thousands of people, ever since I've been conscious. Some of them helped me, some made me learn, some praised me, some criticized, some were honest, some dishonest, some made me happy, some made me sad, some of them I loved, some of them I disliked. But in all, there have been only two kind of people -  those who love to live while those who live to love.

People who live to love -  those few people around us for whom our happiness, our satisfaction, our success brings as much joy and pride as their own brings to them or perhaps a little more.Those are the people who love to live their lives happily and peacefully but they also live so that they can spread the love and happiness around themselves. And they really don't go out cribbing about corruption, poverty, immorality or unemployment; they just make sure that they get only as much as they earn for themselves, that they are kind towards that little boy who comes and collects garbage, that they respect that old lady who works as a maid at their home, that they stand upright in all situations, that their every breath has a meaning. Those are the people who will be there to hold you when you fall, who will scold you and then make you smile right from your heart, people who'll see the tears behind your smile, people who'll criticize you the most but will support you infinitely, people who'll smile and wave their hand even when you are running the maddening race of life and every time you'll slowdown to take a breath, they'll be there to share the cup of coffee.

And then comes the second category - people who love to live. They are kind and generous, but only till you are their friend; you might stand behind them, but they'll move on; people you praise because that's what you are supposed to do; people you like only because you just do not dislike them; people who are there with you, because they just happen to be there.

Here's what I've to say - You might love to live and only love to live, but make sure that there are a few people, your own people for whom you "Live to love". Consider yourself fortunate and be thankful to Almighty if you've even one such person around you :) 

"Even if you are going to be two-faced, make sure at least one them is pretty"

                                                                                                                                 - Sylvia Plath

The glass ceiling of desire between capability and human good

On some lucky days, I happen to wake up before time and hence have an opportunity to sit with my parents and chat while taking sips of my coffee lazily. Those are my best mornings; better than the ones I spend in ignorant, deep slumber. My parents (and even I) have always claimed that they are spiritual, to an extent religious but not blindly superstitious in the name of religion, to which I agree by and large. Random discussions on religion prompted me ask what was the significance of tilak. My papa asked me to list the parts of human brain and the moment I said "Cerebrum"; he confirmed that it was "Neo Front Cortex" too (colloquially). After I agreed, he pointed out that humans, of all the living organisms have this cerebrum which differentiates humans from animals, who cannot "feel" or realize the pain (or for that sake happiness) of the fellow being. It's because of this cerebrum that I can see the person in front of me is sad or hungry or happy or depressed without his having told me about that. He further clarified that Tilak indicates the presence of this capability that makes us humanE BEings.

I wonder if human brain is hard wired to feel the misery of fellow beings, so that he can help them, why is it that we fail to see anyone else's problems except ours? I guess that's the gap between our capabilities to help others and our desire to do so. I wish had desire to help been hard wired in our brain instead of the capability to do so, the world would have been a better place to live in.

My impossible trinity - Luxury, Love for life and Ambition

I've always believed that happiness, family, love, respect, satisfaction are my primary motivators. I love to take a sip of coffee, draw and paint at my whims, chat with my Papa early in the morning while reading newspaper, share thoughts with my Mom while strolling on the terrace at night, talking and sharing with my friends and people I love and care for. With all this, I am also passionate for studying, reading new subjects, working hard, being a part of the teams where I can learn, which slowly worked to drag me away from my Engineering into MBA. And then, when I think about the kind of environment I would be in, after MBA, it looks like a mismatch with all that I love. 

I then, think about a concept called Impossible Trinity, taught in my most favourite class, and I think Luxury,  "Love for life' and Ambition are the three things I cannot achieve simultaneously. It's an impossible trinity and I've to give up one of those whether I want or not. But then, controlling your "love for life" involves several distortions and satisfaction is highly correlated with the other two variables - either in the short run or long run for different people. Theory rejected!

My next thought - Okay, may be I can have a perfect mix of the three; A balanced life with (1/3,1/3,1/3) mix of each of the three variables. This would be something similar to Mixed Nash Equilibrium where you've all the strategies in an appropriate mix which maximizes your happiness. However, game theory assumes people and rational - and that's not true, of all the people even more for me.

Then, I decide not to apply any theory. After all, theories are supposed to make life easier but for me it was getting worse. They are making me think "Have I chosen luxury and ambition after giving up my so dear "love for life" ?". 

But, if ambition leads to a work environment that is energizing, developing, open for new ideas, and well balanced; if ambition is realizing your potential and doing all you can with due dilligence; then ambition it is! Luxury cannot be a motivator in itself and love for life but without ambition is almost meaningless and probably even, unsustainable in the long run.

But, all the combinations of these two, could be or more so "are" phases in a long career, beautiful life and a deep love for life :) :) !!